


You're Here

by purgatoan



Series: 1.5k Followers Celebration- Kinks [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crying, Cunnilingus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s13e06 Tombstone, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Mentions of canon character death, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 19:35:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purgatoan/pseuds/purgatoan
Summary: When Cas comes back from the dead, you’re left a mess and he knows how to help you deal with it.





	You're Here

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta’d, so all the mistakes are mine!
> 
> This one got away from me, but in a good way. I really hope you’re going to like this one, ‘cause I definitely do. Tell me what you think!

Once you were alone with Cas, the tears started falling at a fast pace, and you couldn’t do anything to stop them.

Cas looked at you with fear in his eyes and that only made you cry harder, little sobs tearing from your throat as the emotions came rushing, all at once He had come back, and such turn of events had made your life worth living again, but all you could think about was how crushing it had been to have lost him.

It seemed like only now it was all really hitting you.

He rushed to wrap his arms around you before you could explain what was going on and you leaned into his touch, feeling your body shake with every sob. Cas kept talking to you, probably trying to calm you down, but you had trouble focusing on anything else than the press of his body against yours; solid, close and very much real.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly, pulling you away to force you to look at him. It was enough to make your attention focus on what he wanted you to focus on. “I’ll always be here.”

“You don’t-” another sob cut you off, but you forced yourself to continue. “You don’t know that.”

There was a sad smile on Cas’ face before he said anything else. “I’m aware of that. But I also know that the Empty is quite easy to defeat.” Your eyebrows shot up at such a statement. “I wasn’t joking about annoying it to get out. That’s exactly how it went.”

You let out a laugh against your will and the corners of Cas’ lips went up a bit.

“There you go,” he said, his hands coming up to cup your face. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you whispered, still having trouble believing that your angel was really alive.

“I promised to never leave you, yet I did. And if it weren’t for something or someone that woke me up, I wouldn’t be here,” Cas explained, closing his eyes for a moment, like he needed to regain control of himself. “I can’t not be here with you.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, letting your hands wrap around Cas’ neck. The little contact was enough for your heart to even its pace out, second by second. “I know. But getting killed by Lucifer wasn’t your fault and I’m not mad at you because of that.” His eyes lit up at your statement, but you had something more to say. “There’s something else that I’m pissed about.”

“Tell me,” Cas demanded, gently wiping the tear streaks from your cheeks with his thumbs.

“You shouldn’t have run away with Kelly,” you said, biting your lip at the pain that surged through you at the thought alone. You didn’t want to go back to that, even in your mind, but it was necessary. “You should’ve stayed with us and we would’ve figured it out, but you just ran away and I didn’t know where to look for you. I didn’t know if you were dead or alive and I was going crazy all that time” You were out of breath by the time you were done speaking, painfully aware of how wrecked you sounded.

Nothing could compare to having Cas back, but he needed to know exactly how it had made you felt. You knew you wouldn’t handle going through that again.

It took a moment before Cas’ gaze locked with yours and there was no way you wouldn’t notice the sheer pain in the way he looked at you. “I thought I was keeping you safe.”

“Well, if every time that you try to keep me safe ends with you getting killed, then have you considered the fact that maybe I don’t want to be safe?” you flinched when you realized how loud your voice had become. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to scream at you right now. You don’t deserve that.” You lowered your gaze, ashamed.

Cas made you raise your head back up, letting out a sigh once you looked at him. “You have every right to do that, I deserve every word,” he admitted, his voice suddenly shy and quiet. “But, I suggest we get back to such a conversation tomorrow, if that’s alright with you.”

You gave him a nod. “You’re right. We’ll worry about what went down later.”

“That’s true.” Cas smiled, taking a step closer to you. “I’d rather do something else tonight.”

“Like what?” you whispered, all too aware of how close he was to you. “What do you want to do?”

He leaned forward, slowly, but stopped before your lips collided, the azure blue of his eyes making you forget about anything else in the world. “I want to show you how much I missed you.”

“Then do it.” You encouraged, getting cut off by the press of his lips against yours before you had the chance to say more.

There were no fireworks, but you didn’t want them. Instead, a feeling of warmth and safety enveloped you from all sides, even more so when Cas’ hands slid down your back and his arms wrapped around your waist. You were completely surrounded by him and that was the only place you wanted to be in; right by his side, at all times.

It didn’t take long for the kiss to turn possessive and harsh, almost like you tried to pour all the emotions that had been running through you when he had been gone into it. Desperation, fear, uncertainty, but also unbearable pain; it was all there, only adding to the fierceness and strength of the kiss.

Cas responded with the same enthusiasm, probably sharing the same sentiment. He picked you up with a second thought and pulled you even closer, to the point there was no space left between your body and his, like he couldn’t stand it to be there in the first place.

And you couldn’t be more grateful for that.

All you could smell, feel and taste was Cas - the unbelievable freshness on your tongue, something akin to a smell of pine in your nose, along with plain cleanliness that you couldn’t chalk up to anything else, and the solid chest pressed against yours, as well as the muscles dancing under your touch. 

If it weren’t for fact that you could recall the sequence of events happening from the moment you had saw Cas near that phone booth, you would be certain that it was all just a hallucination.

Cas walked you both to the bed and set you down on it, not breaking the kiss for a second. You were the one to pull away when you began feeling dizzy, and as much as you wanted it to be from the desire alone, you knew that wasn’t entirely truth. Cons of being human sometimes annoyed you to no ends.

“You know what I thought about when I woke up?” Cas said when he began getting rid of his clothes, throwing them in all directions like he didn’t care where they would end up. “I knew had to get back to you, even though I wasn’t sure you wanted me back at all.”

“What do you mean?” you couldn’t help but be confused.

Cas shook his head. “It was the Empty. When I woke up, it tried to make me go back to sleep. It-” he cut off, taking a deep breath before he said some more, even though you knew he didn’t need it. “It said horrible things to convince me to stay.”

“What horrible things?” you insisted, entwining Cas’ fingers with yours.

“That I’m only a liability to you, Sam and Dean. That you don’t love me, only want my protection and that’s why you’re with me,” Cas began, shaking his head. “That you’re not searching for me and are happy that I’m dead.”

Your heart clenched in your chest as you heard those horrid words. “Cas-” you cut off, at loss of what to say.

He graced you with a sad smile, squeezing your fingers tight. “I know it’s not true, but it hurt to hear it either way, especially that I was all alone. And there was no one to tell me that it was lying.”

“Well, I’m here now,” you whispered, blinking away the tears that pooled in the corners of your eyes.

“I know,” Cas said, his voice unusually shaky. “I know.”

There was no need for words anymore as you began undressing each other completely, slowly getting rid off all the layers that were keeping you from feeling the other one’s skin on yours. Cas could grace all your clothes away, but in moments like those, rush wasn’t your friend. You needed something slow, sure and real, just to keep convincing yourself that you weren’t in some beautiful dream. 

Even though you didn’t hurry, it didn’t take long for both of you to get naked, and you let out a sigh at the feeling of Cas’ warm skin on his. The weight of his body on top of yours was more than ideal; solid, anchoring you to the earth like nothing else ever could.

He pulled away after giving you a brief kiss and moved lower, scattering kisses all over your body, wherever he went. Cas’ lips were gentle, their touch no harder than the brush of the wings of a butterfly, but you felt it all clearly. Funny how something so delicate could be so intense, but you had gotten used to unexpected with Cas.

You spread your legs wide once he laid his hands on your thighs and the look in his eyes when your gazes locked had your heart skip a beat. There was so much love and adoration in this stare that you knew you would never be able to comprehend it and it hit you all too hard this time.

Like you were something precious and delicate, Cas slowly delved in, putting his tongue to work exactly where you wanted him to right off the bat. Yet, he didn’t go fast; his pace was slow, languid even, but you didn’t dare complain, feeling your head go dizzy at the overwhelming pleasure.

Every stroke of his tongue was like a declaration of love spoken in the most intimate of ways, right there onto your skin, for you to soak it up completely. Cas’ hot breath was making you shiver and your fingers closed themselves around the sheets, trying to find something to hold on to. Not that it helped much, anyway.

Cas’ name was no more than a breath on your lips as he licked and kissed, paying attention to every inch of your skin. You were soaking wet by the time you felt the release tugging at your senses, begging to be let out so it could envelop you from your head to your toes.

Still, there was no rush on Cas’ account and you let your body float in the sensations, feeling the sparks travel all over as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. You could almost taste it, feel it lingering on your tongue as it was only a bit out of your reach.

A few more practised moves and you were falling, losing yourself completely in Cas, forgetting anything else that surrounded you. It crushed you to the ground, but lifted you up at the same time, assuring you that, as long as Cas was going to be by your side, you would be alright.

There was no break for you, no time to catch your breath, because Cas was already stretching you out, preparing you for what was about to come. Your heart was racing in your chest and your mind desperately tried to process all pleasure coursing through you, but it was an impossible task.

The desire was like a steady electrical current, the switch being flipped on with every stroke of Cas’ fingers inside you. Your body was arching into his touch on its own accord; you couldn’t control it, even if you wanted to. It’s like it knew what it needed before you could properly recognize it and, in that moment, you needed only Cas. And you needed all of him.

Your perception of time was flawed to say at least; you weren’t able to pay attention to such a minor detail when you were being played like a fine instrument, tuned only to Cas. He knew exactly how to make you writhe under his touch and what to do to keep you from falling to the edge, at the same time wrecking your mind and body with the sensations.

It was crushing and quite too much, but the way he was touching you was making you feel even more overwhelmed than anything else. There was nothing other than love in every sweep of his fingers and you could only see adoration in the way he looked at you, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

When Cas climbed back on top of you, you wound your legs tight around his waist, wanting have him closer to you. You didn’t have to say anything to have Cas understood that and he collided his lips with yours in a response, like he wanted to reduce the space in between of you to bare minimum.

He began pushing inside you without a warning, but he went slow, to the point that you could feel every inch of his length stretching you out. It was a delicious feeling, making your breath hitch in your throat, and you had to break away from Cas to take a deep breath.

Oxygen rushing into your lungs had your senses sharpening and the sensations became even clearer, like tendrils of fire licking all over your flesh.Your head fell back onto the pillow with the first roll of Cas’ hips and you didn’t have it in yourself to raise it, giving yourself over to him completely.

Neediness seemed to be flowing through Cas’ veins as he picked up his pace relatively fast, his fingers dancing over your clit in time with his thrusts. You could barely handle it all, filled with too much emotions to sort them out without trouble and tears began streaming from your eyes as your body tried to deal with them all.

“Hey.” Cas stopped immediately, trying to brush away the tears, but they were coming too fast. “Are you okay?” 

You gave him a tight nod, gritting your teeth for a moment to stop more tears from pouring out. “Yeah. Just overwhelmed. Don’t stop, please,” you begged, your voice no louder than a whisper.

Cas granted your wish immediately, starting to snap his hips fast as he fucked into you over and over again. His fingers found yours in that mess and he brought your hands above your head, using them as a leverage to keep going.

His rhythm was fluid despite the speed and you found yourself getting lost in it, feeling it in every nerve ending of your body. You became a part of that rhythm as well, rocking your hips against his, meeting his thrusts halfway, because you couldn’t hold yourself back from doing that.

You were moving together, chasing your respectful releases, but more importantly, existing in the moment. Nothing mattered more than the warmth and weight of Castiel’s body on yours and the smoothness of his lips sliding against yours, all those little things showing exactly how much he loved you without uttering a single word.

And when you fell over the edge, it didn’t take more than a few thrusts for him to follow and join you in the overwhelming bliss. Your bodies trembled together, shaking through every tremor enveloping you, and you let your eyes flutter shut, willing your mind to turn off completely, knowing that Cas was with you.

As you felt the pleasure fading, you forced your eyes to open and being met with a wide smile from Cas made your heart skip a beat.

There was no better place to be on this earth, that much you were perfectly aware of.


End file.
